Constant Cravings

Warning- I am going to use this post to do a little pregnancy whining. I will try to keep it light hearted and I invite all of you to also whine and or share fun pregnancy craving memories in the comments.

With my first two pregnancies, cravings weren't all that big of a deal. I had a few, but they were pretty easy to satisfy, and I would say pretty common. Lets start with Maeve. The big cravings were peanut butter and jam sandwiches, and anything with honey.

Oh so yummy
Perfect anytime of day!

With Isaac, it was just pickles. I know this sounds really cliche, but I have never cared for pickles in my life and when I was pregnant with Isaac, they suddenly became the tastiest things in the world. Tons of people feel this way about pickles when they are pregnant. There should be some research on it.

That's not me with the pickle in that picture, but I'll bet a zillion dollars that lucky girl is pregnant.

Pickles never tasted as good after Isaac was born. When I found out I was pregnant this time, I went straight to the store for some pickles, eager to recapture the magic. Sadly, it just isn't the same this time. The pickles are in my fridge, lonely and untouched.

I do have cravings this time, but they are evil ones that I CAN'T SATISFY!! Exhibit A:

These are the best chips ever created. I guess not everyone agrees with me though because ever since I bought my last bag last month, they have disappeared. I have heard rumors that they have been discontinued, and that made me die inside a little. Seriously, last time I bought them they were at Macey's. I then looked for them at almost every other store in Utah and they were nowhere to be found. I wasn't too worried though. I went back to Macey's fully expecting to find them. They were GONE! And now there was a new chip. Plain Limon. What a joke. Those normal Limon chips mocked me. LIMON IS NOTHING WITHOUT CHILE!!!!

Lets move on. Exhibit B:

SUSHI!!!!!

If you don't like sushi to begin with, I am going to have a hard time explaining this one to you. I like Sushi, but since becoming pregnant, I LOVE sushi. When I think about Sushi, I think I know what crackheads must feel like when they think about their next... I'm not sure what they would call it... just the next time they smoke crack okay? There are two problems with this craving.

1. Sushi is supposed to be a pregnancy no-no.

2. Sushi is kinda pricey. I'm kinda poor. I can't just pick some up at the grocery store or a drive through. I'm not sure I would if I could cause that sounds.... ummm..... gross.

A few weeks ago I broke down and went out for Sushi with my friend Shan (who is about 12 months pregnant herself). We shared a veggie roll, vegas roll, and surf and turf roll. I am sure the veggie roll was safe due to lack of fish. I justify the other two because they are fried (tempura) so I think that makes them cooked.

In conclusion, I am asking you for a few favors. First, please comment and share in my misery in some way. Second, if you see Chile Limon chips anywhere, please alert me RIGHT AWAY! I may need you to stand guard in front of them until I arrive. Finally, if you want to go get some Sushi give me a call. Bryce is a hater so he won't be going with me anytime soon, and I need him to stay home with Isaac while I eat anyway!

A Different Kind of Meaning.....

Growing up, I probably assigned the same kind of meaning to Valentine's Day that most everyone else did. As a kid, it was a fun day that might involve some extra candy and as I got older it became single awareness day. Although, I don't think it was as painful as that title described. I just can't recall a Valentine's day with any significance prior to meeting Bryce. Even after we met, I think we were always in agreement that is just wasn't worth spending our time or effort on it. I know it sounds cliche, but it is a manufactured holiday and while we usually relish any opportunity to eat out, we hate the idea of waiting for hours to eat because everyone else has to do it that day too. If that sounds lazy, it gets worse once you are married. Utah County (where we live) is a dating...er...I mean college town. Its super important for the college crowd, particularly the pre-engagement portion, to celebrate VD (that sounds like something else but I am getting tired of writing out Valentine's Day so get used to it for the rest of this post). For so many of them, VD doubles as DTR day and so they have to do everything they can to make it great. When you are married, there are other days that just have more meaning, like your anniversary, day you got engaged, even birthdays mean more than VD. So, it is kind of nice to leave VD behind, and just pick it back up when I get to start helping my kids prepare cards and candy for their school friends.

VD changed forever for me 5 years ago though. I am pretty sure it was a Monday. I woke up feeling sick. I was just dragging and instead of going right from the bed to the shower I went downstairs and started munching on saltines. I bet you get where this is going. I should have too. We had decided about a month earlier that maybe we should start trying to have a baby. I assumed the trying part would be a 6 month to 1 year process so I just wasn't thinking that was the problem. I finally did get going in to work, bringing my crackers in with me. My co-worker Suzy saw me nibbling on crackers and as we were doing our morning talk/weekend catch-up, I told her how I was feeling. She casually asked if I could be pregnant. I immediately told her no but the question made a sort of alarm go off in my head and I just knew right then that I was pregnant. At lunch I went over to Target thinking I might try to find some kind of VD gift for Bryce. I had no idea what to do or what the expectation was so I wandered around the X-Box games but I just couldn't get the pregnancy thing out of my head. I wanted to know so bad. I left the store with a couple of tests and some random item I can't even remember now, you know, so I wouldn't be the weird girl buying just pregnancy tests. So what to do now? I couldn't wait to take one, but our house was in PG several miles north of my office in Provo. I couldn't do it at work of course. I thought momentarily about using the Target restroom, but that was a bit too "Where the Heart is" for me. I drove to my mom's house in Orem. There was no one home but the door was open and I ran in and took the test. The box says something about waiting two minutes for results, but I watched as that plus sign instantly and glaringly appeared. I was shocked and shaking. I really think I felt similar to how teenagers feel when faced with this. I was 24 years old, but I never REALLY thought I would be a mom, let alone have that just 9 months away. We had only been married 5 months. It was just unbelievable. I gathered my "things" and got in my car, still shaking, heading back towards work. I started to relax, get happy about it, and then cry. I had to tell someone. I called Bryce. I told him I had a VD gift for him and that I wanted to bring it buy his office. He said he was going into a meeting and would be there probably the rest of the day. I told him I would just wait until we were at home later. I hung up my phone and I think I screamed! My mind was just racing trying to process all of this. I went back to my office and tried my best to work but it was soo hard to focus. I wondered if my co-workers already knew somehow. My thoughts were so loud I felt like everyone could hear them and my shaking, lack of focus, and massive grin were betraying me. I made it through the day by avoiding everyone I possibly could!

I don't remember the details of the rest of the day as well. I think after things sink in those feelings are less tangible and the memories fade. I remember giving Bryce the positive test that night and saying Happy Valentines Day as I handed it to him. I remember him jumping off the couch and lifting me in the air. I remember feeling amazing. Sharing the news with him was the first glimpse of a feeling I ever had of being a parent. It wasn't just us anymore. We had started a family and there was no turning back.

The months to follow were some of the most challenging of our lives, and something I never would have expected. About 6 months after VD, Maeve Lillian was born and what followed was the best 5 months of my life.

I can't remember what day I found out I was having Isaac, or the day I found out about this one. Maybe I wouldn't have remembered Maeve if it hadn't been on VD. But it has caused every VD since to have a different kind of meaning. It is the day that I found out I would be a mother, and in a way, the day we became a family. That day changed everything. We still don't celebrate or anything. I make Bryce his favorite desert and give him a VD card. There is no going out or anything which I still prefer. But now and forever the day will always remind me of the greatest blessings I have.

Update

Sorry, as always, for not being the blogger I wish I was. I literally think about updating and have ideas for things I want to write about every day, but that giant jumble in my head, combined with life in general, makes it hard to actually sit down and put pen to paper, or finger to keyboard I guess. Instead of further delay based on my planning of a perfect entertaining yet heartwarming post. I am just going to go ahead and start writing. Here is what has been going on.

Pregnancy

It sure hasn't been smooth. I really hate to complain about it because I have been one of those people who aches when others complain about their kids or their pregnancies. When you lose a child, it just hurts to hear people who don't appreciate what they have. I have to admit however that I just don't love being pregnant. I know plenty of people who have it much worse... bed rest, IV's, bleeding... I don't have any of that. I just have lots and lots of nausea, vomiting, and fatigue. When you combine that with a busy job and a demanding toddler.... I think you get the picture. I am also not "cute pregnant". I will post a belly picture soon, but it might be the last one you get because I really only have another week or so before things get really ugly. Right now, I am showing and I feel pretty good about it. Soon, however, EVERYTHING will be puffing up. I only have a small handful of pictures from my last two pregnancies and I honestly hate to see them. I don't get the basketball tummy that everyone wants. Instead, as a really short girl, my belly just kind of eats up my whole body like Violet in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. In fact, I am pretty sure that when we went to the hospital to deliver Isaac, Oompa Loompas had to roll me to the room.

Enough whining though. I am actually starting to feel much better. The doctor "graduated"me to Zofran, a very nice drug that would have made life easier had I had it earlier. Now I only vomit once a day in the morning. My energy is also back. I am really happy about that because I honestly was worried I would never have energy again and I was terrified at the prospect of having two kids when I wanted to pass out all the time and wished I was in bed way before Isaac's 7:30 bed time run on sentence sorry.

In two days I have a Dr. Appt. and maybe we will know what kind of baby we are having. I mean of course boy or girl. I don't think they can predict personality yet with ultrasound but wouldn't that be awesome? When I think about this baby, I always imagine just another Isaac. I am not sure why. Isaac and Maeve certainly had different personalities, but for some reason I keep thinking of the things I didn't know or that took me a while to figure out with Isaac and applying them to the new baby. So of course, this time around everything will go perfectly... Unless, this child is different than Isaac. It would be so great to know if this baby will be easy or hard, good or bad at nursing, sleeping great or up all night. Okay back to the gender thing. I am really excited to know. I know that my knowing sooner rather than later really makes no difference, but I think if for any reason I can't find out at my appt. this week, I will probably wind up at one of those mall places to get an answer. I just want to start talking to Isaac in terms of "your little brother or your little sister".

Isaac

Bragging time. I LOVE Isaac. He still gets more fun every day. He amazes me with the things he learns, his sense of humor, and the funny things he says and does. When he wasn't saying much at 18 months, I was kind of worried. I just thought that was a cut off date for boys or something. Finally at 20 months he is talking tons, even though most of it I don't understand. I love all his little words and especially when he says new ones that I don't expect. There are way too many funny stories about him for this post so I will try and start putting them on here more often. I do want to share one though. Isaac was sick a couple of weeks ago and lost his appetite. I was really concerned about how he wasn't eating much and tried to feed him almost everything in the house. Most everything I gave him he would give to the dog and I was getting quite upset with both of them for this. If you know my dog, you know she does not need any extra food. On this day Isaac was tossing his chicken nugget lunch to Molly. I decided to put her in the bathroom a couple feet away from his highchair so that she wouldn't beg and hopefully he would focus and eat something. A couple minutes later I saw this:

Yep, those are chicken nugget pieces (I cut them for Isaac) sitting by the bathroom door. Isaac felt bad for Molly and was throwing them to her. If you look close you can see her trying to reach under the door and get them.

Non-Pregnancy Illness

We have had a run of bad luck health wise around here, and judging from other blogs I read, so have many of you. Isaac was sick for a week and as he started to recover Bryce and I got it. As Bryce and I got better, Isaac got Rotovirus and an ear infection which resulted in a very bad diaper rash. Just as things seemed to be improving, Bryce got sick again. He took the day off. We have all been so busy but especially Bryce. He is really working hard and burning the candle at both ends and I think he just hasn't been able to fully recover from last weeks illness.

Isaac and I spreading the love (and the germs).

That's all for now. I will keep everyone posted on baby stuff and now that I have updated I might be able to post more fun blogs with less words!